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Stay at home superiority syndrome

My daughter was born in the Chicago suburbs just before we were about to move to Cincinnati. We sold our place about two days after her birth and were out of there not even a month later. After staying with my parents while we waited to settle, hurricane Sandy rolled through, causing black-outs across the northeast. After Sandy we drove back out to Ohio to settle on our new home, which is where the story begins…

•First-time parent
•Babitary confinement
•Lack of sleep

Stay at home superiority syndrome kicked in after about 3 weeks of staying at home with my daughter full time. While I’m sure the events prior to my full-time-daddying played a central role in the acquisition of the ailment, I’m also fairly sure it would have happened at some point regardless.

I grew increasingly EDGY. It was like I was in a permanent state of the, “Grab a Snickers” commercial campaign…but with no Snickers at the end. It was bad, man. My methods of burping were SUPERIOR. My diaper-changing skills UNPARALLELED. My ability to tell different cries apart from each other was simply BREATHTAKING. And my wife?

Always. Wrong.

I had transformed from this good looking, easy going, fun-loving fella into…well…my wife tells it best…

[themify_quote]You were being a total bitch, Rick.[/themify_quote]

Now before you judge me, think back. Go on, do it! Have you ever suffered from SAHSS? Did you snark out on your baby-daddy/momma? I know for certain that I’m not alone here. In fact, I know of people who will STILL not let their spouse perform trivial tasks for their children. We’re talking years of unchecked SAHSS. Scary.

SAHSS affects mood and sometimes facial expressions


My wife called me on my bullshit. What I realized is that sometimes we hold on to things SO TIGHTLY we’re slowly letting go…of our sanity. Just it let go, babe. Or grab a Snickers.

Relapse and Regression
This was bound to happen as kids seem to keep growing and forcing silly parents to learn new skill-sets to keep them alive. The nerve. When I feel myself slipping into that dark place, I do two things. Exercise and communicate. No, I don’t hop on the treadmill and call a girlfriend to chat about the desperate housewives of dramaland. I explain to my wife how I usually do things and let her take from that whatever she wants. Use the idea, recycle it, or burn it. At least she knows what I do and why, as opposed to passive-aggressive-holier-than-thouing. Then I go for a run.

YES. I always come back!


One stay at home dad (to be) conquers DIY and Diapers

This Post Has 2 Comments

  1. Tara Cocolin

    GREAT POST! I too am a stay at homer. I think I do this to my husband occasionally! I needed to hear this because I don’t wanna be that, not even a little. So, thanks! Your writing style/personality is very likeable. Oh, p.s.-my husband made us one of your king size platform beds, we LOVE the design & functionality! Seriously, pat yourself on the back right now. I painted it with white kinda chippy milk paint over dark wood colored milk paint, looks like old barn wood. It’s amazing. So, thanks twice actually! 🙂

    1. Rick

      Thanks Tara! When I found myself critiquing the size of the teddy grahams Rachel gave to our daughter earlier today it occurred to me that I was having a SAHSS flare up and needed to write about it!

      It’s really awesome to hear when readers have success with their own builds based off of one of my project guides. It makes me feel really, really great- so thank you SO MUCH for the kind words! One of these days I’m going to ask everyone to send me pics of their finished projects so I can learn from you guys/gals! I’ve been trying to get that old barn look for YEARS to no avail. Look at the desk build and you’ll see what I mean! It’s so ugly I’ve learned to love it for its ugliness!

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